I have been reading and finding comfort in the Psalms lately. My heart has been burdened and I've had some wicked dreams about being chased. I understand from where these dreams stem, just stuff happening in my life. When someone you thought cared for you, when someone was who you thought to be a cherished friend betrays you, it is a feeling of extreme pain and difficult to describe. This morning the Lord has led me to some passages for comfort. The Psalms I've been focusing on this morning are 55 & 56. They are not the buttery, sugary feel good Psalms, but show intense pain from David. His companion, confidant and close friend had betrayed him. It is a feeling I too have felt, so I relate to this in my own personal way. I have committed myself to the Lord and to do the right thing, no matter what, but my so-called friend had different designs on what I should do and those things were not in my best interest, but solely in the interest of fulfilling a selfish desire. Discussion after discussion was not able to break down that wall. I feel like I have wasted my time on someone that really did not give a rat's hoot for my well being. It hurts. I am thankful that I can find peace in the Lord and His promises. People will always let you down, my Savior will not. I am sorry for things I have done in my past that was less than what the Lord would have of me. I am sorry for confiding in the wrong people and trusting too easily. These are things I need to work on and areas I am praying to the Lord for strength. I need to daily put on my armor, daily wear the breastplate of righteousness and daily drink from the fountain of Life and quench my thirst in Him, not in people.
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they're really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they're true colors
So just when you think you're close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin
-"If I Had" - Eminem
FRIENDS NO LONGER
"Sorry I forgot to tell you
That as my friend you must be true.
As that I went to say,
No more were we at play.
I meant to tell you the future looked bright,
But all of a sudden we got in a fight.
I went to tell you we should be friends,
That I will be here untill the end.
But you would not listen to me,
So friends no longer shall we be."
~~~Anonymous
